Signs of abuse
There are more specific signs often associated with particular types of child abuse and neglect: physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. It is important to note, however, that these types of abuse are more typically found in combination than alone. A physically abused child, for example, is often emotionally abused as well, and a sexually abused child also may be neglected.
- Signs of physical abuse:
Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the child:
- Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes
- Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school
- Seems frightened of the parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home
- Shrinks at the approach of adults
- Reports injury by a parent or another adult caregiver
Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the adult caregiver:
- Offers conflicting, unconvincing, or no explanation for the child’s injury
- Describes the child as “evil,” or in some other very negative way
- Uses harsh physical discipline with the child
- Has a history of abuse as a child
- Signs of Neglect
Consider the possibility of neglect when the child:
- Is frequently absent from school
- Begs or steals food or money
- Lacks needed medical or dental care, immunizations, or glasses
- Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor
- Lacks sufficient clothing for the weather
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs
- States that there is no one at home to provide care
Consider the possibility of neglect when the adult:
- Appears to be indifferent to the child
- Seems apathetic or depressed
- Behaves irrationally or in a bizarre manner
- Is abusing alcohol or other drugs
- Signs of Sexual Abuse
Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the child:
- Has difficulty walking or sitting
- Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities
- Reports nightmares or bedwetting
- Experiences a sudden change in appetite
- Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
- Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14
- Runs away
- Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver
Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the adult:
- Is unduly protective of the child or severely limits the child’s contact with other children, especially of the opposite sex
- Is secretive and isolated
- Is jealous or controlling with family members
- Signs of Emotional Maltreatment
Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the child:
- Shows extremes in behavior, such as overly compliant or demanding behavior, extreme passivity, or aggression
- Is either inappropriately adult (parenting other children, for example) or inappropriately infantile (frequently rocking or head-banging, for example)
- Is delayed in physical or emotional development
- Has attempted suicide
- Reports a lack of attachment to the parent
Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the adult:
- Constantly blames, belittles, or berates the child
- Is unconcerned about the child and refuses to consider offers of help for the child’s problems
- Overtly rejects the child
Recognizing that there are problem is the biggest step to provide help. Children experience their world as normal. It may be normal in their family to be slapped or pushed for little to no reason, or that mother is too drunk to cook dinner. It may be seem normal for your teacher to call you stupid, clumsy, or worthless. Or it may feel normal to get beaten up or sexual explored by older children in the boarding house. It is only as adults that we have the perspective to step back and take a hard look at what is normal and what is abusive.
Recognizing abusive behavior in an adult, especially in people who you are familiar with, like colleagues, or even in yourself, will be difficult and for sure painful. But raising children is one of life’s greatest challenges and can trigger anger and frustration, especially also when it concerns children with special needs. It happens sometimes even to the most tempered parent or professional . And if one grew up in a situation where screaming and shouting or violence was the norm, it might happen that lines are crossed.
There are some signs that may tell when an adult is in danger to cross that line of abuse:
- They can’t stop the anger. What starts as a swat on the backside may turn into multiple hits getting harder and harder. They may shake your child harder and harder and finally throw him or her down. They start screaming louder and louder and can’t stop themselves.
- They feel emotionally disconnected from the child. they may feel so overwhelmed that they don’t want anything to do with the child. Day after day, they just want to be left alone and for the child to be quiet.
- Meeting the daily needs of the child seems impossible. While everyone struggles with balancing dressing, feeding, and getting kids to school or other activities, if someone continually can’t manage to do it, it’s a sign that something might be wrong.
- Other people have expressed concern. It may be easy to bristle at other people expressing concern. However, consider carefully what they have to say. Are the words coming from someone you normally respect and trust?
To compose the articles on Child Abuse 1 & 2, the Hanah team also consulted the following sites:
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au
http://www.sexualhealthaustralia.com.au
http://www.autism.org.ukinform
http://www.meegeldersepoort.nl/
http://meezhn.socialekaartnederland.nl
http://www.familienratgeber.de
